Friday, February 14, 2020

Free Form Friday - Valentine's Day Reruns

Hello all. Hope you are enjoying a special day with your significant other. Or shredding their picture at Hooters for free wings. Whatevs. We are a judgement free zone here at Counter Jockey Chronicles.

Today I'm reposting a previous Sunday Story that is especially applicable today. Enjoy!

Valentine's Day 2016, Gander Mountain #309

It was about the mid point of my shift. I had opened that day, and was pulling a double. Meaning I would leave the store around 1900 or so, give or take. Which had thrown a wrench into my V-Day shopping plans. However, in exchange for a Frosty, the perky cheerleader who worked part time as our cashier said she would take my card and run across to Target for me. Thus allowing to continue selling guns. Gotta chase that dollar.

So, with Anna off spending my money for Jackie, I was left to my own devices. Being Valentines Day, we were kinda slow, mainly couples browsing or boyfriends picking up some .380 as a bag filler. I'm actually playing with our big game ammo day dreaming of charging cape buffalo when I get the ever popular
"Do you work here?" from a well dressed, slightly flustered lady. 

No, I just wear the vest to carry snacks. 

"Yes ma'am, I do. What can I help you with?"
"I want to buy my husband a rifle."
"Great, what kind?"
"A Remington 700."
At which point my heart sank just a tad. At that point, at my best guest Remington, had over 100 different variants of the 700 cataloged. At store #309 we had around thirty variants on the rack, give or take.
"What kind?"

Internally, I wished to be back working for the Boy Scouts, back jumping out of perfectly good airplanes, back in the fraternity house sweating over constitutional law, but no, I was at Gander Mountain wearing a stupid vest, about to hunt for the perfect "black" 700.

As an aside, unless you are parachuting into Pakistan to kill the current Number Two of Al-Queda, buy a rifle with a walnut stock. Or I will mentally call you a peasant.

We finally, find her a rifle that sorta meets her hazy recollection of what her husband wanted, and she asked the question every gun salesman since Colt looked at a ship's helm loves to hear,
"What else do I need with it?"

"Well, ma'am, you bought a nice rifle. A really nice rifle. You're gonna need a Leupold scope, rings, bases, three boxes of Federal Premium with Sierra bullets, a soft case, a sling, oh, and we're running a special on bi-pods."

Okay, so maybe, just maybe, I kitted this guys rifle up like something Chris Kyle would nod approvingly at.

I happily ran her background check, swiped her credit card, and walked her out the store. And then inwardly cringed when Anna got back and gave me debit card and a Target sack. No 700s in my immediate future.

As an update, I have purchased a couple of 700 platforms since then. EXCEPT ONE IN .35 WHELEN!

Anna is engaged to a local deputy and Jackie and I are about to celebrate two years of marriage.

This weekend I'm manning the store both days. But look to have some cool stuff up for Military Monday. Everyone enjoy your weekend and discounted sweets tomorrow.

Thanks for stopping buy.


  1. Yep, shoppers DO get interesting sometimes... LOL

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